And so it began…
(I’ve been writing secret blogs for the past
few many weeks! Stay tuned, cause there’s lots of catching up to do 😉 )
Saturday, September 6, 2014
I have the biggest secret I’ve ever kept balled up inside of me right now. I could explode! And here it is…. I. Am. Pregnant!! It is taking so much restraint to keep quiet about it, but I have to because Greg has been out of town the past few days. So for over 48 hours now, I have been keeping this huge secret from the entire world. It’s a weird feeling, I have to admit. I mean, I literally am the only person on this planet right now that knows that our lives are about to totally change. Greg comes home tomorrow and I’m jumping up and down on the inside ready for him to walk through our front door! But before I start talking about how I’m telling the unsuspecting daddy-to-be, I want to go back and reminisce through the details leading up to this exciting moment. (Don’t worry, I’m not writing about those details 😉 ). But this journal is for me, and I want to remember all the little moments that begin this journey.
So, way back in January, I stopped taking the pill. We had our reasons, but it wasn’t because we wanted to start “trying.” We were still preventing in our own way. I’ve been in grad school for a year now, and I have one year left (I finish August 2015). So having a baby has not been on our top priority list (not on mine at least). I’ve pondered thoughts of when might be ideal to start having babies….while I’m still at UAB?, right after I graduate?, after we possibly move to a new city and a new home and a new job for me? I always stop myself because I quickly imagine that God just laughs at me and my “planning.” Who am I to try to map out all the details of my life? Do I not know God already has it all planned out, and God’s will will be done regardless of my chronic OCD desire to time it all just right. I mean, who am I to even know what is just right? So anyways, for several months now we’ve just been doin’ our thing, being rather careful but not totally freaking out if something were to happen. I mean, we’d kinda freak out, for like 3 seconds, and then we’d just shrug it off. I actually even told Greg a few weeks ago that I’d never be able to surprise him even if I did get pregnant, because my cycles have been like clockwork even since coming off the pill. It has been almost spot-on to the day every month for the past 6 months so he’d obviously know almost as soon as I would when I missed a period.
Well…..September 2nd rolled around and no visit from Mother Nature. I shrugged it off initially and thought well, sometimes it is a day later. September 3rd came and went. In the back of my mind I was starting to grow suspicious, but I didn’t say anything to Greg yet. I figured I’d give it one more day. Well, then Greg’s plans for going out of town on Friday got bumped to leaving town on Thursday. And by Thursday at work, when I was still showing no signs of Mother Nature paying me a visit, I was convinced this time might be the real deal. I thought about it all. day. looooong. It felt like the longest day in history. My first thought was to get some pregnancy tests and just wait and take it on Sunday once Greg was back in town. But by the end of the day, I couldn’t stand it any longer. I just had to know. So on my way home from work I stopped and got a 2-pack of tests. I got home, fed the dogs, ate dinner, didn’t rush taking the tests because part of me still thought, “I can wait.” Then I caved. While getting ready for bed, I took the test. It says it takes 60 seconds to result, and even the faintest double pink line should be considered a positive. Holy crap, I watched those pink lines appear before my eyes in a flash! And boy was it positive!! There was no question. PREGNANT!
My stomach hit the floor, and my heart started racing and I just started grinning from ear to ear. Pregnant. I even said the word out loud to myself in disbelief. Lily (one of our dogs) was sitting right outside the bathroom door staring at me and I started jumping up and down squealing to her, “oh my gosh, I’m pregnant! We’re gonna have a baby! Oh my gosh, I’m gonna have a baby!” I was glad the dogs were at least all there to get excited with me 😉
So after that, it took me quite a while to calm my nerves and go to sleep. I still had work the next day. And an ENTIRE WEEKEND ahead of me before I could share my news with Greg. All day at work on Friday I thought about ways to tell him, ways to tell our families, what to do about bring a baby into this house (because I’ve been saying for years, it’s way too small for when we start having kids…) Haha, see…God is laughing again. I even went ahead and called the OBGYN office here at UAB to make my first appointment.
So for 2 days now I’ve carried on conversations with everyone, just screaming inside wanting to blurt it out! I’ve also had to play it cool talking to Greg the past 2 days 😉 I can’t wait to see his face when he finds out! He will be shocked, but SO excited, I know. He’s told me before he can’t wait to be a dad. Let’s just hope we can contain our excitement a little bit longer!